All Grown Up

I cannot believe that my sweet baby boy is five years old already. It feels like just yesterday we cancelled trips to Target because he cried as we strapped him into his car seat. Haha! Five years and 2 more babies later the thought of cancelling anything because of a crying baby is just silly. Frankly, I become concerned when no one is crying. It usually means that someone is suffocating. We, as parents, are not the only ones who have changed. Since turning five, Eldest is a completely different person.

Bathroom Habits

Eldest has always liked to wait until the last possible moment to master a skill. Being the first born, he had “People” to bring him snacks, move him from place to place, etc. He doesn’t even try something until he has been mulling it over in his mind for months. Little dude did not crawl until he was one year old, walk until he was 18 months, talk until he was two years…I could go on. So, it did not surprise me when Eldest was not interested in wiping his own poopy butt—he much preferred knowing that the job was getting done right by one of his People. My mom finally sat him down several months ago for a serious conversation.

Gummy: When are you going to wipe your own butt?

Eldest: Hmmm…how about when I am five?

Gummy: Okay.

And that was that. Eldest had no interest in wiping himself until the day of his birthday. Now he takes care of it completely by himself. As a matter of fact, if one of us tries to stay and supervise we are promptly asked to leave. “You can go now, Mommy.”

What am I going to do with all of the time that has been freed up by my Eldest wiping his own 5 year old butt? Probably spend it replacing all of the extra toilet paper we are going through now. The kid is nothing if not thorough.

Television Viewing Preferences

We do not have cable. (I will pause while you gasp and exclaim, “Why? For the love of all that is good and holy, WHY?” Then I will answer, “Cuz we are cheap and have a high tolerance for pain.”) We watch plenty of tv, it is just a lot of PBS, streaming Netflix, and DVDs from the library. Husband and Baby Girl were watching a little Rick Steves’ Europe and enjoying a post-nap bottle when Eldest plopped down beside them and said, “Now that I am five, I really enjoy grown-up shows.”

Eldest is basically a 50 year old trapped in a five year old body.

Perceived Responsibilities

In the handful of days since Eldest’s birthday he has begun pushing the shopping cart for me at the store, cleaning up yard debris with Husband, and keeping his brother in line (or trying to anyway. Red is slightly resistant.) I am happy to hand off whatever responsibilities Eldest wants to take on.

Me: It was so nice that so many people gave you presents for your birthday. Now we need to write them thank you notes so that they know how much you appreciate the presents.

Eldest: Okay.

Me: Do you want me to write them and you can sign your name?

Eldest: Nah, I’ll just write them.

Me: (surprised and not just a little thrilled) Alrighty! I usually write a couple at a time…

Eldest: How many do I need to write?

Me: Five.

Eldest: I’ll just do them. Can you help me spell some words?

Fifteen minutes later the kid had all of his birthday thank you notes written, addressed, stamped, and waiting for the mailman to carry away. I am going to go waste time on Pinterest now. I wonder if I can convince Eldest that folding laundry is a big boy chore?

Disclaimer: Eldest would not let me check what he wrote. If you get a thank you in the mail, it was all him. Enjoy!